I know you come here for long, eloquent blog posts that give you that little extra push to get outta bed in the morning, but I have to leave you wanting more. Here's a little blog snack for y'all. A little list of my favorite and not-so-favorite things:
Favorite
1.) The faux hustle someone does when you stop your car to let them cross the street. It's not getting them from Point A to Point B any faster, but they want to show you that they truly appreciate your kindness. A tip o' the hat to you as well, sir.
2.) Writing the word 'Cinnabun' in cursive. Not only has it been proven to lower your blood pressure by 4 degrees (points..? levels..? I'm not a fucking doctor, man), but can place you in a zen-like state with all them curves. Best enjoyed with a Pilot Precise V7 pen.
3.) Nervous public speakers. Yes, okay, because I can totally relate to them and want to scoop them up and hug them and run away with them to somewhere isolated, far away from people and all their judgmental stares. BUT that's not the only reason, smartypants. It's because you're witnessing someone facing their fear in real time. Also, because great public speakers typically have the opposite affect on me; they're cheesy and come off like salesmen and I ain't buying.
Not So Favorite
1.) When my earbuds accidentally get yanked out of my ears. This usually happens at the gym when a quick movement of my arm pulls on the cord and causes me to bite my tongue until the urge to say shit that will make any decent human blush has passed. I'm not even sure why this ignites the rage center in my brain so quickly because it's such an easy fix, but IT DOES.
2.) People that announce their 'anonymous' good deeds on social media. Do I have to elaborate on this one?
3.) People that wear a lot of perfume or cologne. It's like being obnoxiously loud to my nose. At the risk of offending my faithful readers: Gain laundry detergent is also really strong and really bad so please switch to something unscented for my sake. Maybe dab a little perfume or Gain inside your nostrils so you get the benefits without upsetting my olfactory receptors...? Just thinking out loud here.